So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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