im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize