I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
