I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Randomize
