Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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