dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
His hands were made for my vagina.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
