even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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