The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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