don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
