paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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