I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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