If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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