Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
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