I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
We need a shit load of segways right now
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
