That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
