Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
