you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
