i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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