I think i sorta joined a cult last night
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
