i already hear my dad disowning me
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
My feet surprised me
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
