if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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