i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
ok first of all what the fuck
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
