he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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