Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
