the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
