he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
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The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
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is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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