I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I bet he comes in French.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
