We won't sleep together?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
