I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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