I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
is that a dick in a sweater?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
