we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
