I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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