Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
