There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
