My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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