Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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