You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
