Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
It's not a walk of shame if you run
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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