I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
