Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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