You're so nebulous sometimes
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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