I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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