Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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