So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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