i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
