i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
