Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
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You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
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I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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