you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
