We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
