Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Randomize
