We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I just googled if crying burns calories
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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