Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
