Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
