butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
