so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
