I should be sponsored by Trojan
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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