the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
