Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
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