At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
