can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
